Reflection — UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME — Quora



Mae Jacolo Aguilar"apple"
Mae Jacolo Aguilar”apple”, B.S. Nursing from West Negros University (2010)

“The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of the state of your mind.”

― Wayne W. Dyer

For some people, stalking is a way of life…

A follower of mine on facebook ( sent me a private message: “could you please write something about stalkers? I have deleted several accounts because of these bastards.”

If you discover that you are being currently stalked — either in-person, online, or via technology — it can be unsettling and even dangerous. I do feel the need to address this matter, as well as to share my own experience about it.

I can’t blame some people for wasting their precious energy and time on having sneak peeks on someone else’s life. They must have the most boring and uninteresting life. In other words, their actions reflect who and how they truly are. This article should give stalkers “a dose of their own medicine”. I wonder how it feels like seeing your image posts in this article… Is it not flabbergasmic?

– We’ve all heard someone say, “I Facebook stalked him!” or “I didn’t mean to stalk you but I saw your post about your trip to Vegas…” But the truth is, true stalking is scary, it’s dangerous and in many cases, illegal…

Some stalkers have psychiatric illnesses, ranging from depression and schizophrenia to erotomania — a delusional belief that the person is loved by another — and most appear to have a personality disorder like extreme narcissism or dependency or an inability to sustain close relationships.

‘’Stalkers tend to have both — a mental illness and a personality disorder,’’ Dr. Meloy, a psychiatrist affiliated with the University of California at San Diego, said in an interview. ‘’And those who stalk strangers are more likely to be psychotic than those who stalk prior sexual intimates. The latter are more likely to be drug or alcohol abusers with a dependency personality disorder.’’

But what is Stalking and Who are Stalkers?


*a person who illegally followsand watches someone,especially a woman.

*a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention.

*a person who hunts game stealthily.



Sometimes stalkers seem to pick their victims at random, prompted, perhaps, by the end of a relationship with someone else, by some real or imagined slight or, out of paranoia, for a reason that has no apparent connection to reality.

A retired couple reported being stalked by a business acquaintance after a minor disagreement. And a woman in her 70’s was stalked by a woman of similar age for reasons she could never discern.

Men are stalked as well, and indeed are more often victims of violence by their stalkers, Dr. Doris M. Hall said , a specialist in criminal justice at California State University at Bakersfield.

Dr. Kristine K. Kienlen, a psychologist in St. Peter, Minn., who evaluates criminals and patients who are mentally ill and dangerous, tells of a 31-year-old man who, after his divorce, began stalking a young teen-age girl he knew. At first he merely attended her athletic events and wrote of his desire to date her. But after four years of failing to achieve his goal, he began breaking into her home and stealing items from her bedroom, including her photo album, the contents of which he returned to her one picture at a time. Dr. Kienlen conducted the first preliminary study of the backgrounds and psychological profiles of stalkers. More than half of the 24 male stalkers she interviewed had evidence of what psychologists call an attachment disorder stemming from the childhood loss or absence of a caring and consistent parent or guardian, usually in the first six years of life.

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Although the theory of attachment disorder has its critics, Dr. Kienlen and other experts in stalking believe it may be a ‘’predisposing factor’’ for stalking behavior by making it difficult for the person to establish and maintain healthy relationships. ‘’Their parents may have divorced and the custodial parent had little contact with the child,’’ she said. ‘’The parents may have had a drug or alcohol problem; the child may have been physically, sexually or emotionally abused or even totally abandoned.’’Dr. Kienlen said she had encountered three kinds of attachment disorders among stalkers.

The ‘’preoccupied’’ stalker has a poor self-image but a positive view of others and constantly seeks their approval and validation in order to feel good about himself. When rejected by others, the person stalks to restore his sense of self.

The ‘’fearful’’ stalker has a poor self-image as well but also sees others as unreliable and unsupportive. The stalker tends to get caught in a vicious cycle of wanting someone to boost his own self-image, then rejecting the person for not being trustworthy, which prompts the person to stalk because he again needs someone to boost his sagging ego.

The ‘’dismissing’’ stalker thinks of other people as jerks and usually remains distant from them to maintain an inflated self-image. The stalker with dismissing attachment disorder who does form attachments become angry when a breakup occurs and may stalk out of revenge, to retaliate for being mistreated.

Most of the stalkers Dr. Kienlen interviewed also had extreme personality disturbances. The most frequent one encountered in stalkers was narcissistic personality disorder, which Dr. Kienlen said gave stalkers an inflated sense of self-worth and an intense need for other people to compliment and idolize them.

Stalkers are obsessed with those whom they have no personal relationship. Jilted or dumped suitors and their sick conniving partners may fall into this characterization. This is true in cyber-stalking, since I myself have recently become a victim online. A poser using fake identities has been following all of my social media accounts. The IP address was traced back to a certain blogger by the authorities. — BUSTED! This stalker has been stealing ideas from my articles, and posts on my fb/twitter/pinterest have been replicated. Last but not the least, shamelessly used my fb username as a blog title. As sick as it may sound, yes! ordinary people like us too, are a target. The weirdest thing ever, the stalker would publish a very similar post each time at exactly the same date, just minutes/hours after publishing my original posts. Thanks to a common friend on social media who actually noticed it first, who has testified against the stalker.

One of the ways perpetrators stalk victims is through the use of technology, hence the term, cyber-stalking. This is a crime in which the attacker harasses a victim using electronic communication, such as e-mail or instant messaging (IM), or messages posted to a Web site or a discussion group. A cyberstalker relies upon the anonymity afforded by the Internet to allow them to stalk their victim without being detected.

Cyberstalking is atechnologically-based “attack” on one person who has been targeted specifically for that attack for reasons of anger, revenge or control.Cyberstalking can take many forms, including:

  • harassment, embarrassment and humiliation of the victim
  • emptying bank accounts or other economic control such as ruining the victim’s credit score
  • harassing family, friends and employers to isolate the victim
  • scare tactics to instill fear and more[6]

CyberAngels has written about how to identify cyberstalking:[8]Combination of features can be considered to characterize a true stalking situation: malice, premeditation, repetition, distressobsessionvendetta, no legitimate purpose, personally directed, disregarded warnings to stop, harassmentand threats.

Identification and detection

  • False accusationsMany cyberstalkers try to damage the reputation of their victim and turn other people against them. They post false information about them on websites. They may set up their own websites, blogs or user pages for this purpose. They post allegations about the victim to newsgroups, chat rooms, or other sites that allow public contributions such as Wikipedia or[9](must be specifically /personally addressed with names)
  • Attempts to gather information about the victim. Cyberstalkers may approach their victim’s friends, family and work colleagues to obtain personal information. They may advertise for information on the Internet, or hire a private detective.[10]
  • Monitoring their target’s online activities and attempting to trace their IP address in an effort to gather more information about their victims.[11](unless done by proper authorities for investigation)
  • Encouraging others to harass the victim. Many cyberstalkers try to involve third parties in the harassment. They may claim the victim has harmed the stalker or his/her family in some way, or may post the victim’s name and telephone number in order to encourage others to join the pursuit.(working in tandem/group)
  • False victimization. The cyberstalker will claim that the victim is harassing him or her. Bocij writes that this phenomenon has been noted in a number of well-known cases.[12]
  • Attacks on data and equipment. They may try to damage the victim’s computer by sending viruses.
  • Ordering goods and services. They order items or subscribe to magazines in the victim’s name. These often involve subscriptions to pornography or ordering sex toys then having them delivered to the victim’s workplace.
  • Arranging to meet. Young people face a particularly high risk of having cyberstalkers try to set up meetings between them.[12]
    • The posting of defamatory or derogatory statements. Using web pages, images/photos and message boards to incite some response or reaction from their victim, provoke to annoy, putting the victim on a defensive situation [13]:

    (based on personal experience)

    1. a photo of the stalker wearing my name — — submitted as evidence

    2. message boards

  • Persistently sending unwanted communication through the internet, such as spamming someone’s email inbox or social media platform(private message/direct message/messenger etc.)
  • Posting threatening or personal information ( must include specific names otherwise the claim is invalid)about someone on public internet forums
  • (copycat syndrome) — -commonly involves female stalkers. Known for Intentional replication of other people’s original work as justified by proximity of dates of posts from the original( ex. message boards, posts and style of posting). Obsession is shown by sudden shift of interest(ex. from aesthetics to crime/psychology)
  • Video-voyeurism, or installing video cameras that give the stalker access to someone’s personal life(some pose as home cleaners/handyman/collectors attaching spy gadgets in your home)

Using GPS or other software tracking systems to monitor someone without their knowledge or consent

-Using someone’s computer and/or spyware to track their computer activity

As technology and digital platforms continue to grow, so do the chances that someone could interact with you in an unwanted, sexual manner. Not all of these behaviors are considered stalking, but they can be violating and make you feel uncomfortable. Learn more about the different ways people can use technology to hurt others.

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  • Intimate: In this type of stalking, the stalker and victim had a former relationship with each other. Often times, the stalker seeks to reestablish a relationship with the victim which has either ended or which the victim has tried to end. It is likely that there is a history of abuse, including domestic violence, by the stalker.
  • Nonintimate: Here, the stalker and victim have absolutely no interpersonal relationship with each other. Rather, the stalker may select and focus on the victim following a brief encounter with each other, or merely after observing the victim. The victim is often at a loss to readily identify the stalker once he or she becomes aware of the conduct. Nonintimate stalking is further divided into the two following categories:

Organized: The “relationship” between the stalker and victim is characterized by one-way, anonymous communications from the stalker to victim. The stalker is methodical and calculating such that the victim usually does not know the identity of the stalking.

Delusional: The “relationship” between the stalker and victim is based exclusively on the stalker’s psychological fixation on the victim. The stalker’s delusion is falsely believing that he or she in fact has a relationship or some other connection with the victim.


  • Simple Obsessional: This is the most common type of stalker. The stalker is usually a male and the focus of the stalking is an ex-wife, ex-lover or former boss. In intimate relationships, the stalking frequently starts before the break-up. The stalking can sometimes result from the stalker feeling that he or she has been mistreated by the victim.
  • Love Obsessional: In this type of stalking, the stalker is a stranger or a casual acquaintance to the victim. Nonetheless, the stalker becomes obsessed and begins a pattern of behavior as a means of making the victim aware of his or her existence. High profile examples of this type of stalking include when celebrities or public figures become the target. However, this type of stalking can be focused on an “average” citizen as well.
  • Erotomania: In this type of stalking, the stalker incorrectly believes that the victim is in love with him or her, and that, but for some external barrier or interference, the two of them would be together. Given that perceived “love” between the stalker and the victim, the stalker can also pose a risk to those persons close to the victim since they may be viewed as “being in the way.”
  • False Victimization Syndrome: This involves an individual who either consciously or subconsciously seeks to play the role of the “victim.” As such, the individual may invent a detailed tale in which he or she claims to be a stalking victim. In reality, however, the would-be victim is sometimes the actual stalker and the alleged stalker is actually the real victim. This is an extremely rare form of stalking.

With regards to motives, extreme obsession is the main reason stalkers do it. Psychologists go on further saying stalkers are so obsessed they fantasize having a romantic relationship with their victims. In this imagined relationship, they go so far in wanting to control their victim’s lives, in accordance to their personal design.

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Try to avoid the person stalking you. If you are being stalked through communication technology, like email or text messaging, make it clear that you wish to stop contact. Once you’ve made it clear, do not respond to further communication. Become familiar with computer safety and ways to stay safe online.

Inform family, friends, supervisors, and co-workers of the situation.

Consider reporting the stalking to local law enforcement, gather all the evidence needed(photos/screenshots/comparison data with corresponding dates etc.)then report the account, as social media and publishing websites(ex.pinterest/fb/twitter/wordpress etc.) are obliged to work hand in hand with the authorities to monitor the account and recover online info to trace the identity and location of the stalkers behind it.



STALKERS HAVE MANY FACES…and gummy smiles.

In the context of criminal lawstalkers are people who constantly follow someone whether in real life or online, though they may cross over. What categorizes them as criminals is, they will go so far as to invade your privacyand to an extent, cause physical harm. Cyber-stalkers use baiting and phishing, may operate in duo, and hide their identity online by creating many bogus accounts which look legitimate and harmless…

Here in the Philippines, we have, Republic Act №9262 and Senate Bill 2442 which makes stalking a criminal act. Another law is the Republic Act 10175 — Cybercrime Prevention Act.

*Senate Bill 2442


(1) Prying into the privacy of another’s residence; (2) Meddling with or disturbing the private life or family relations of another; (3) Intriguing to cause another to be alienated from his friends; (4) Vexing or humiliating another on account of his religious beliefs, lowly station in life, place of birth, physical defect, or other personal condition.” These legal rights are violated by “stalking,” which is an act described herein as harassing, bothering, frightening and otherwise interfering with the private lives of people. The act is a form of disguised intimidation which may be a subtle attempt at harassment.

Section 5. Penalty. — Any person who commits any of the acts mentioned in Section 4 shall be punished by Arresto Mayor in its maximum period to Prison Correccional in its minimum period or a fine ranging from P 1,000.00 to P 5,000.00 pesos. If the offender subsequently commits the same crime or is a family or household member of the victim, the next higher penalty shall be imposed.

*Republic Act №9262


SECTION 3. Definition of Terms.- As used in this Act,

C. “Psychological violence” refers to acts or omissions causing or likely to cause mental or emotional suffering of the victim such as but not limited to intimidation, harassment, stalking, damage to property, public ridicule or humiliation, repeated verbal abuse and marital infidelity. It includes causing or allowing the victim to witness the physical, sexual or psychological abuse of a member of the family to which the victim belongs, or to witness pornography in any form or to witness abusive injury to pets or to unlawful or unwanted deprivation of the right to custody and/or visitation of common children. SECTION 5. Acts of Violence Against Women and Their Children.- The crime of violence against women and their children is committed through any of the following acts:(h) Engaging in purposeful, knowing, or reckless conduct, personally or through another, that alarms or causes substantial emotional or psychological distress to the woman or her child. This shall include, but not be limited to, the following acts:

(1) Stalking or following the woman or her child in public or private placesSECTION 6. Penalties.- The crime of violence against women and their children, under Section 5 hereof shall be punished according to the following rules:

(a) Acts falling under Section 5(a) constituting attempted, frustrated or consummated parricide or murder or homicide shall be punished in accordance with the provisions of the Revised Penal Code.

If these acts resulted in mutilation, it shall be punishable in accordance with the Revised Penal Code; those constituting serious physical injuries shall have the penalty of prison mayor; those constituting less serious physical injuries shall be punished by prision correccional; and those constituting slight physical injuries shall be punished by arresto mayor.

Acts falling under Section 5(b) shall be punished by imprisonment of two degrees lower than the prescribed penalty for the consummated crime as specified in the preceding paragraph but shall in no case be lower than arresto mayor. In addition to imprisonment, the perpetrator shall (a) pay a fine in the amount of not less than One hundred thousand pesos (P100,000.00) but not more than three hundred thousand pesos (300,000.00); (b) undergo mandatory psychological counseling or psychiatric treatment and shall report compliance to the court.

  • Republic Act 10175

Cybercrime Prevention Act was signed into law last September 12, 2012. This law is already in effect as the Supreme Court uphold its constitutionality (February 18, 2014).

Cyber-squatting shall be punished with imprisonment of prision mayor, or a fine of at least Two Hundred Thousand Pesos (P200,000.00) up to a maximum amount commensurate to the damage incurred, or both: Provided, That if it is committed against critical infrastructure, the penalty of reclusion temporal, or a fine of at least Five Hundred Thousand Pesos (P500,000.00) up to maximum amount commensurate to the damage incurred, or both shall be imposed.

Always be on guard and listen to your gutsExpose these psychos and let them know that you’re aware and they are not as invisible as they think. Contrary to what others believe, my lawyer has advised me to expose the stalker instead…I must warn you though, stalkers have the tendency to partially/completely shut down all their social media accounts to keep you from securing evidence of stalking(ex.protect tweets/set fb/pinterest/IG on private mode/CREATE NEW USER PAGES W/ NEW NAMES). So make sure you have all the information you need to incriminate them before finally exposing them.


I do not own the Pictures..please see google images

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© Copyright 2018 Mae Jacolo Aguilar”apple”. All rights reserved. Any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Author/publisher.

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Mae Jacolo Aguilar”apple”THE MULTI- TOPIC BLOG- writes about personal interests& passion.specializing on HUMAN BEHAVIOR. elicits toxic reaction by annoyance.certified weirdo& a nurse

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