Through the years of social experimentation, studying a person’s mind and personality has never ceased to amaze me…I write and research for a living …Field of study, Human behavior.
Human behavior is the responses of individuals or groups of humans to internal and external stimuli. It refers to the array of every physical action and observable emotion associated with individuals, as well as the human race. Human behavior – Wikipedia
Human behavior will determine the success of Organizations! | Raman Ramamurthy | Pulse | LinkedIn
Nursing school provided insights about how different people react to different stimuli. Over time, psych nursing itself, personality disorders , social interactions and Human behavior have become interesting. This certain fascination, coupled with a dear friend’s advice and the untimely death of another friend in 2009 has turned into a passion for writing and research using social experiments. As a Writer, social experiment is the perfect reference for publishing a book and as a Nurse, to carry out research on narcissism (self-immersion in a pre-selected work field). In 2010, a writer friend of mine encouraged me to become part of their group that produces social experiments online.
Since then, I have decided to create why blog, a health&wellness website dedicated to raising awareness of narcissism and other personality disorders on social media. This is the reactivated why blog account — –https://www.facebook.com/maejacoloaguilar/
After 2010, I considered all other jobs as just work experience, a sort of “jobs within a job”, just a need to get a writing project done.
I started writing a memoir in November 2011 about call center life and decided to embark on my first social experiment based on it, which served as an initiation into our group. According to some articles, narcissism is prevalent among call center agents, but of course with the exemption of a few. As my husband has worked long enough as a call center agent himself, and he is not a narcissist. I somehow wanted to find out if there’s any truth to it, so that’s how everything came about. It was exciting because role-playing is fun, especially if you get to play someone opposite your personality… I should say that my exposure to acting classes when I was younger has paid off. Role playing in a social experiment is necessary to lure the prime subject (male narcissist).There are two types of women that attract Narcissistic men. Dependent personality(helpless, naive and vulnerable)and Histrionic Personality ( bubbly, flamboyant and flirty/seductive).These are the roles I play in the experiment…I REPEAT, JUST- A -ROLE
This is our primary weapon against the NARCISSISTS, as soon as Scam baiting is done with a sweet disguise, the mask is off and this destroys the narcs’momentum. Scam-baiting is the practice of eliciting attention from the perpetrator of a scam by feigning interest in whatever bogus deal is offered.Narcissists are SCAMMERS to the core and scam baiting is perfect way of giving them a dose of their own medicine.
The most unforgettable thing for me, was transitioning my character from being Dependent(helpless and vulnerable,wearing simple hair and outfits) to a chic and flirty Histrionic(wearing bangs and ridiculous outfits plus sky-high shoes). I even had to wear prosthesis to cover my braces.This was to achieve that bad teeth look, just helped me get more into the character of someone inferior and shy. I even had an awkward situation because of this, where two of my co-workers, noticed that I was brushing my teeth in the toilet cubicle and that it took me so much time in the ladies’ room. The following week I had to attend a party wearing that infamous backless, black dress with matching red lipstick. OMG… That was so uncool. Another thing was, one of my co-workers caught me thinking aloud as if I was talking all by myself…probably she thought I was crazy, well, I was just memorizing my lines. Part of the social experiment is having a script prepared ahead of time …
Also, imagine going out on a Saturday night or occasionally after work with these toxic people…
“Being the Only Sober Person my unique position has afforded me a rare glimpse into the behavioral patterns of the plastered, plowed, tipsy, smashed, buzzed, blot-toed, and otherwise inebriated”. Christopher Post
Last but not the least, eating meat. Part of rubbing elbows with the subjects who were accustomed to traditional diet just to establish rapport — — I’m vegan and this for me, was the ultimate sacrifice.
Yup! the things I did for the job and it was all worth it.
So what makes a successful experiment? Simple, convince the subjects, you are “the real thing”. In my case, they actually thought I was a tech idiot (couldn’t type any faster than 10 characters/min.).This made me the most vulnerable in that group and the perfect target for narcissists. Then, the male narcissist who has totally lost himself into the story, believing that I have fallen head over heels for him…B-r-a-v-o!
Actually, my husband now who was then my fiancé knew everything about the social experiment, the role playing stuff etc…He would tease me for wearing that hideous bangs and for being a lousy flirt with the narcissists, we even used to call that malignant narc,”LATTE” and we would just go laugh about it. It was his advice to do the research in that particular company so he could look after me and my group through the entire course of the experiment. Anything goes in a field experiment, as I had to take the risk of being around these toxic people, and He knew that.
YES! You heard it right(are you kidding me? No decent NURSE / normal human being would want to have anything to do with a narc).
it was just a prank, nothing personal though, just part of my job. There is no place to be with a narcissist other than “NEVER”.
I felt like an undercover agent throughout the experiment, it was a blast…
This is the reason,our experiment primarily targets male narcs, they deserve nothing less than a dose of their own medicine, malignant narcissists are psychologically sick bullies… Time to burst someone’s bubble and deflate that over-sized ego.
How to spot a narcissist? Easy. They are critical about a certain person, they love to gossip, they are copycats, they love attention and drama and some of them take delight in humble bragging, and they are over competitive. I have met many narcs in that workplace and I befriended them, so I can observe them closely. Top of the list would be the copycats, they would mimic everything about you, wearing the same style of shoes, clothing, learn the same kinds of hobbies. We call this behavior, mirroring.Why? These people have identity crisis and are not comfortable when they are not the center of attraction. They tend to see others as competition all the time.Then, the over critical ones and the gossipers who would love to know every bit about you. Personally, I am in a bad habit of playing along with these kinds, so I would tell them just about every outrageous and weirdest story about me, my life and my family. I do this because I feel that they do not deserve any truth about my personal life at all, so rest assured that all personal info I shared with those people in that workplace were all made up. I confused them! I fed them wrong information about me and even name dropped just to see their reaction. Then, the two-faced backstabbers, claiming as your friends. I just played dumb, nice, and likable…
Lastly, the male narc who preys on women, (the main target of the social experiment). The replica of the narcissist that has caused the death of our friend…Narcs of this kind would be the social experiment’s prime target. The plan was to make him and those people around believe, I was attracted to him, to trigger reaction from the subjects which is crucial in confirming narcissism.Then, we study him closely… That workplace had several candidates, I chose the most malignant one and after he’s served his purpose, I simply do anything to put him off and cut loose.(ex.literally move your computer away &turn your back on the narc or tell them your getting married, all you need is to do is befriend people who have the potential to spread rumors and you are good to go)
Upon further observation malignant male narcissists do not just exclusively prey on normal people, they are able to stomach hooking up with another mentally disturbed person as well. As in the case of a girl who was one of the subjects in the experiment, showing symptoms of somatic narcissism/histrionic personality disorder.
This girl subject belongs to a group of people with both histrionic and somatic narcissistic traits. Shes just one of many “undiagnosed” mentally disturbed who are usually religious/spiritual hypocrites, with non- well off up bringing, stayed in far unpopular places, exploring new things and stuff, ignorant, ill-mannered, pretentious, envious, possessive , insecure, fake face, promiscuous and attention addicts always bad mouthing around. Histrionics are known for having paranoid tendencies which causes them to believe that other girls are out to get their partner all the time. They are hypocrites who tend to point out other peoples mistakes which they too are guilty of in the first place. (Ex. they will confront a friend for being promiscuous while having done the same thing.) Histrionics also have the reputation of suddenly becoming ill to gain sympathy or if not just wear skimpy bikinis— attention whore.
Self-immersion experiment requires me to play a role of a Histrionic.. but I would never expose myself (especially in cheap bikinis) just for the sake of research and Science.. I guess this just goes to show that our level of moral perception being “normal” people, is much higher than those of the “ real histrionics ” such as this girl subject.
This Histrionic subject was actually the very first, easiest one and the most exploited target of all. Histrionics are materialistic , flambouyant and impulsive.(Ex. likes flashy cars, infidelity, abandonement of legitimate partner etc.). We watched this girl threw herself on this male malignant narcissist—–easy peasy
This poor girl was successfully victimized as a “filler”so this male malignant narc could buy his time desperately attempting to get the attention of his true target. This is what we call “scapegoating”, sort of making him look busy and fully booked, if you will.
Then it was time for the male narc to toss her out and moved on to the next victim..
Another Histrionic but this time with Overt narcissistic traits and also part of the subject pool.There is a cliche, “You cannot buy manners”.. which describes this subject.Histrionic/Overt narcissists may show sexual aggression, arrogance (flashing wealth on people’s face), self-obsession, unsophistication (Ex.loud, unruly, acting like one of the boys)status-oriented, ill-mannered/ uncivilized (Ex. resorts to a cheap misdemeanor of physical aggression w/ the help of a fellow mentally ill accomplice, fashion victim, shopaholic, attention whore, people pleaser, two- timer, easily suggestible, air -up -there kind of a person and talks too much like a parakeet and more). Narcissists and Histrionics, what do they have in common? PROMISCUITY.. Obviously This poor girl was used as a “pawn”/”assassin”.
The malignant male narcissist this time used this tactic called “triangulation”, during our social experiment.
He managed to love bomb this girl as a replacement /new supply to cause jealousy on his true target. This was because the true target showed avoidance towards him. The male narc perceived that as an offense. His wounded Narcissistic ego, made him vengeful and vindictive over the person, who was unwilling to become his victim/narcissistic supply. The true target was just a character in our experiment and avoiding the narc was part of the act (to challenge the subject) and I played that role.
The real victim was the other girl target(Histrionic/Overt narcissistic) used for triangulation tactic of that narcissist. He ployed nasty smear campaigns against the true target, denying his romantic intentions while stalking her around the workplace. A woman’s intuition never lies friends.. (acting nervous around you, touchy gestures, asking silly questions about personal backgrounds, giving chocolates anonymously, destroying her reputation by false rumors, playing the victim, etc.)
We call this “The discard,” the narcissist will re-enforce his ego by blame shifting and discrediting his target, before he can find another willing victim.
We are aware of the fact that narcissists do not respond very well with rejection. Narcissists live in their own fairy tale world and they wont take NO for an answer because they simply feel entitled to everything. Reality check, I was there as a researcher and he was just a subject in our experiment, a thing called, Professionalism… My only business in that place was to get the project done, so naturally I turned him down without hesitation. It took him a while though to digest everything,and up until now that NARC still has not accepted the fact that once upon a time he was used as a guinea pig to a research experiment — -hardest pill to swallow. As expected of him being a narc, he fought hard and struggled. He manipulated people and managed to twist the story of what has truly transpired. Until he finally gave up and resigned from work… “ A loser walks out early in the game”… Be advised that narcissists will always act as victims in their story and we were prepared for that. They will deny any romantic intentions shown by them so the other person would appear a “liar’’, just to maintain their own innocence. They may even use another person as “the replacement” and “accomplice”.This person would be abused via brainwash by the narc encouraging hate towards the other to carry out vengeance.This accomplice may show verbal and physical aggression as a result. Hence the term,”Triangulation”. His last attempt of protecting his frail ego.Consider that as a punishment for not giving in to them and for hurting their narcissistic ego. Unfortunately, it was just a social experiment and all of his effort was bound to be in vain right from the very start,anyway. This person would be the first male narc to participate in our social experiment.The 2011 research project was just the first of many social experiments I have done on Male Narcissists.
We have observed a cycle of the same pattern of behavior from these male narcs toward women they are attracted to the most.
THE NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIORAL CYCLE (male narcs):
.BAITING ( I )
“Narcissists don’t talk, or communicate: they fend off, hide and evade, Narcissist are insidious manipulators. (ex. initially Ignoring your presence, inviting you to go out and drink through his flying monkey/friend, weird smirk on his face)The narcissist wishes to keep their victim in an anxious state. They never want you to be able to calculate or predict their next attack on you”. Sam Vaknin
The narcissist is a great actor. This is especially true during the love bombing phase. (ex.false empathy and support, buying food for you/being extra nice in a weird way/finding ways to be around you ) if he decides, that you have what he wants. You will then experience love bombing. Other victims were told, “You are the most wonderful woman in the world. You are perfect. Even your flaws are adorable!” They were taken to wonderful restaurants, showered with thoughtful gifts, and received daily texts telling them how they were perfect and special. At this stage, the man may even talk about marriage and want to plan a summer vacation together. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/understanding-narcissism/201704/the-narcissistic-love-script?amp
A personal observation about the game of emotional hot potato: the narcissist’s vision of what really happened and it will all boil down to one basic theme: It’s always your fault and never his or hers. The inability and unwillingness to take responsibility for actions and words under any circumstances are also narcissistic hallmarks.Giving you the silent treatment as they are busy lining up their potential new victim. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201601/4-behaviors-unmask-narcissists
One of the favorite manipulation tools used by narcissists and sociopaths.
“To draw you closer, the psychopath creates an aura of desirability, of being wanted and courted by many”. Robert Greene
“They manufacture love triangles with exes or imagined partners. It may happen at home, at work, with friends, or within a family. The narcissist may pit you against any other person he/she can get to engage in their “victim-playing.” https://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2011/05/…/triangulation-findingmeagain-and-others
Narcissists recruit friends, colleagues, family members, the authorities, institutions, or neighbors, to do their bidding, hence the term “flyingmonkeys”.. They use others to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate, and otherwise manipulate their target.
(ex. poking you by a pat on the shoulder to test whether you’re still under their spell, or leaving chocolates on your work station through the help of an accomplice/flyingmonkey.)
Keep in mind that while they were giving you the silent treatment before, they were busy lining up someone else–generally a new girlfriend/partner. They haven’t returned to you because they care, or because they love you. They are incapable of love. Most likely they have returned because things didn’t work out with whomever they had replaced you with, and they are looking to feed off you some more. It’s very important that you realize that a “relationship” with a Narcissist is nothing more than a game. — -in our case he was subjected to an experiment. He was the one being played on — -so much for KARMA…
“The narcissist will set you up. This is called the sweet/mean cycle, or technically,intermittent reinforcement. This process causes addiction to set in, just like a slot machine. You literally become addicted to putting a coin in the narcissists slot to see what you’re going to get back. You’re in love with the illusion that the narcissist created for you. The narcissist puts on a front and acts like everything you want and need them to be until — SURPRISE!!! They simply disappear and will not reply to your texts or calls, leaving you without closure and forever puzzled about what happened. He feels as if he is the aggrieved party and you have been nothing but a disappointment. He once thought that you were his princess, but now he can clearly see that he has to take his glass slipper and look elsewhere. It is during the “discard” stage that the narcissist starts taking the narcissistic supply that he or she has been grooming you to give”. http://self-love-u.blogspot.com/2015/04/understanding-that-narcissist-doesnt.html
.back to BAITING (II) One of the common narcissistic tendencies is baiting.(ex.You are accused of doing something outrageous and out of character, such as cheating on your spouse,being a social climber, or being a flirt in real life, insulting something or someone you love, calling you names such as “aesthetic”, “megumi”, “200” among others) It really is not personal against you- it is to make a sick person feel better about themselves.
…and THE CYCLE GOES ON AND ON.
Narcs are notorious pathological liars, that is why, whenever we are around narcissists we make sure that everything is properly recorded, so they won’t stand any chance of denying any participation to it. For future legal reference, we keep every evidence intact and by that, I mean both audio and faces recorded for safekeeping. We keep an official list of the narcissists’ names we recommend them to psychiatric research. They will be monitored for life for any form of harassment they are to cause in the future. Social media activities included, as they are capable of manipulating another account or the owner of the account to continue to harass others. The more evidence you provide us to prove your unstable mental state, all the more you incriminate yourselves. So, thank you for making our job so much easier. Accomplices are as guilty as the mastermind, and they too are being monitored online and offline. We will always have a way to trace everything back to you. Recording everything (ex.audio,etc.)is always part of securing the data for the research project and will serve as evidence in court if needed in the future. Narcissists are most capable of indirect stalking and harassment via third party. They are incapable of truly moving on and everything they do is just a facade. As a rule though, to protect the subjects, we do not disclose any names…
(MORE VIDEOS HERE ON RESEARCH: HUMAN BEHAVIOR via Social Psychology Experiments)
The one thing I like about narcissists, is that they are easily lured into something beyond what they see because they are too shallow they hardly relate with creative people. NARCS are predictable and I can say now that they are stupid as opposed to how they see themselves. Their huge ego is making them believe that they are smart, these people are living a lie.
Narcs have the tendency to latch on like parasites to any person they find interesting.Their obsession often leads them to either spying on the person, creating smear campaigns and doing anything nasty just to get the sick satisfaction they need brought about by their NARCISSISTIC DISORDER. These are insecure people that intentionally harming others, makes them feel tough and superior. Narcissists are in denial of their true frail identity, trying so hard to put on a façade of someone invincible. NARCISSISM is one mental disorder that is difficult to treat. Psychiatrists know the danger of confronting these sick people about their disorder. Their impulse would either be, refusing the treatment or keeping grudges on anyone who slams the truth on their face.
NARCS are vindictive once provoked. They are capable of harming anyone they please, so before helping them, consider personal safety first. The only way to study their behavior, is to go undercover and use self immersion experiments. This is also to further discover new ways of treating these people.
The goal of the social experiment was to find out how a certain group of computer savvy individuals would respond as I included myself as one of the subjects assuming another character of a naive and technologically challenged girl and to be able to spot narcissistic tendencies among them. FYI: I have been using the computer since 1992 & I am no tech idiot. I must say it was a success, as I have found the perfect people to play the characters in my story. However, the story somehow needed to end that soon as some of the characters have decided to leave the company for good in reality.Nevertheless, I owe this brilliant idea to my friend Olivia Clockwork Alonso which has made my job as a writer more interactive and fun.
Being a “social experiment confederate,” is never an easy job and it is not for the faint- hearted. It takes a lot of passion, objectivity, resilience, creativity, inspiration, a dash of weirdness and a loving, supportive spouse to endure and pursue what I do. The risk is very huge as you are putting your real name and self out there as part of the experiment. As a researcher, I have learned that the only way to observe these sick individuals are by giving them a dose of their own medicine. NARCS are “ snakes in the grass”, part of our strategy is to hide our true identity. They don’t deserve any truth about anyone’s persona.
I have seen how Social psychology experiments have been useful in developing elements of social intervention programs…and since my social experimentwas a success, my work is done now. I have already passed the torch to a new member, that’s why I am sharing the experience now to all of you. Apart from that, I want to inspire others to pursue their calling in life and contribute to the society.
First, be always mindful that the main purpose of the social experiment is to serve as a reference for scientific research on personality disorders and for the book. Meaning, part of the job is to target the narcissists and get them involved in the experiment, befriend them as needed. Then, have a good script prepared ahead of time, the usual formula for a good story is romance plus conflict, as this is what sells a book. Therefore, it is necessary to manipulate the situation to become acquainted with one of the subjects (the narcissist) and target that person to become”the love interest” in the story. Another consideration would be acting out and assuming a character and do the undercover job. This is because as the person conducting the experiment, one should step out of the scene and detach from the real self. This usually causes others to misjudge and have the wrong impression but that’s totally fine …. the goal here is to conduct the research as smoothly as possible and meet the deadline for the book. Consistency is a must, stick to the character whatever it takes, invest time and effort to make it look and feel authentic. Never hesitate to cry, act stupid, be a doormat and over friendly, etc. Whatever it takes, to sustain the story for the book and should one of the subjects, spoil the story line, get rid of that character, find a way put them off. Start by talking to the person and say weird things, act stupid or just simply make a mess of yourself. Everything is part of the act, be objective.
Lastly, no one should know about the social experiment and once it’s done, you must completely cut off communication with the same people and the environment. This is to help you as a Writer to see the proper boundaries between you and the character you played in the experiment and step out of that environment for good. This should allow you to go back to reality and focus on publishing the book without emotional influence and disturbance. Always remember that all the people who played the characters in your story were just part of an experiment…
Justification is cheap…We tell our story solely to present truth, nothing more, nothing less. After all, at the end of the day we are only liable to our own conscience and not to other people. Besides others’ opinions and assumptions are their own responsibility. We appreciate positive feed backs but negative criticisms are considered toxic and irrelevant unless acknowledged. Never allow others to hold you back from being your authentic self, instead let out that “Artist” in you and make a difference. Believe that just like me and a few others out there, you will endure. Keep in mind that “different is good” and that we all have the social responsibility to use our talents and professions to better our society and environment. Always appreciate pure ability, intellect and the ARTS itself . Research is far more complex than googling. It may take years just to get a project done. The researchers invest time, effort and risk their own reputation for the Social Experiment. Those who can’t seem to grasp and mock our Work are just what I call, poor unfortunate souls…SCIENCE is real, not an alternative fact and so is experimental research and human subjects, whether you accept it or not.
“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” — Abraham Lincoln
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” — Albert Einstein
“A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.” — Kenneth Tynan
Originally published at www.booksie.com.
https://cynthiabaileyrug.wordpress.com/2016/07/23/narcissists-baiting; www.selfgrowth.com › Articles › Mental Health › Behavior Modification; https://janellhihi.com/…/when-a-narcissist-insults-you-or-tries-to-bait-you-with-an-arg..;https://janellhihi.com/2017/07/08/when-a-narcissist-insults-you-or-tries-to-bait-you-with-an-argument-do-this/; queenbeeing.com/tell-difference-narcissistic-love-bombing-healthy-romantic-interest;https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201601/4-behaviors-unmask-narcissists;https://www.psychopathfree.com › Articles › Emotional Abuse;https://freefromtoxic.com/…/the-4-most-common-narc-sadistic-triangulation-tactics/;https://narcissistabusesupport.com/red-flags/red-flag-narcissist-triangulation/;http://self-love-u.blogspot.com/2015/04/understanding-that-narcissist-doesnt.html;http://www.thriveafterabuse.com/narcissists-hoovering-techniques/https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/understanding-narcissism/201704/the-narcissistic-love-script
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Mae Jacolo Aguilar”apple”THE MULTI- TOPIC BLOG- writes about personal interests& passion.specializing on HUMAN BEHAVIOR. elicits toxic reaction by annoyance.certified weirdo& a nurse